SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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