yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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