I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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