Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
40s are totally the cure
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
