Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We talked him into tasing himself.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
