ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Houston, we have a squirter
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize