Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
