2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
