i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
