Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
