I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
