DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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