I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
