Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
