and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
3pm strippers are depressing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
