I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
