No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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