And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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