i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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