$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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