In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
