Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
