how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
