Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
