Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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