just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When did angry sex become our thing?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize