We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
