I wish I only lived at night.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
