Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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