I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
