Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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