Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize