I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We left an ass print on the piano.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
pray to the hookup gods
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize