is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i out mim tonsoeep
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