Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
