I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
