make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
