Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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