Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
