Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
