There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
