it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
