I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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