I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
