yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
