If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
