They should really pass out barf bags in church
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
