I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
