i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize