I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
