Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
