k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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