Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
