hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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