Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
