Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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