I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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