Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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