We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
