he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
