i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
