I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
