a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
