You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
