i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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