"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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