I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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