I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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