Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
