if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
