As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
