there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
